-
Ass, Grass, or
Gas: everybody's gotta pay
-
An unfortunate
person is one tries to fart but shits instead
-
Act your age, not
your shoe size!
-
Be kool.. Dont go
to school :D
-
Beauty is in the
eye of the beer holder
-
Cancel my
subscription...I'm over your issues
-
Don't be
open-minded, your brains might fall out
-
Girls are like
phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong
button you'll be disconnected!
-
There are no
stupid questions, just stupid people.
-
If love is blind,
why is lingerie so popular?
-
First law of
science: don't spit into the wind
-
I don't know if
I'm a player. Ask one of my girlfriends
-
I hope life isn't
a joke, because I don't get it
-
Hard work never
killed anybody, but why take a chance?
-
If Barbie is so
popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
-
Never go to a
doctor whose office plants have died.
-
I wish i was
Barbie...that bitch has everything!
-
I'm not smiling
at you, I'm trying not to laugh!
-
If your wife
wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.
-
Everybody wants
to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.
-
I'm fat, but your
ugly. I can diet
-
I'm not a dumb
blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot!
-
If at first you
dont succeed skydiving isnt for you
-
What do you mean,
my birth certificate expired?
-
Guys: No Shirt,
No Service - Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
-
Keep Earth clean,
it's not Ur-anus
-
Marriage is a
great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
-
I like work. It
fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours
-
Always borrow
money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back
-
When you're
right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
-
The road to
success is always under construction.
-
If electricity
comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
-
Don't knock
masturbation, it's sex with someone I love
